I started on this path to healing with my understanding of how healing really takes place in shambles. I was a shell of the girl I used to be. I felt as though I had lost everything, because let’s face it, when you lose your health, you lose everything. There’s nothing earthly or tangible left that you can hold onto. You can’t hold down a job, money becomes tight, family relationships become tense, you lose your dearest relationships, you’re abandoned by people you never imagined would abandon you, your desire to do anything at all shatters right out from under you, and the smallest act of rolling out of bed in the morning to attempt to choke down something bland mixed with a handful of supplements becomes what you live for.
That was my life, for years. And I thought I had been robbed of my purpose and my life. In my mind, it was unfair and uncalled for. I was a good person! I had a future and now I didn’t! I had plans and dreams that were now to no avail! So now what?
Well, most of us approach this dark and painful predicament wrong the first time. We answer with fear, anger, complacency, frustration, bitterness, and often complete and utter numbness. Because in our mind there is no other way. And in the defense of those in that dark place right now, we have to hit rock bottom before we realize that the only direction you can go at rock bottom is up.
So, I hit my rock bottom. Hard. I was angry and bitter and I trusted no one. But what I didn’t realize all along was that God was acting as my guide and compass, guiding me in my storm to the future He had planned and promised me. My future that I no longer believed existed.
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I came across a Bible story somewhere between 6 months and a year into my healing journey. And it changed my approach to this awful state I was in.
Mark 5:25-34
“And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, and had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse, when she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole. And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes? And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me? And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing. But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth. And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.”
And it hit me. I AM THIS WOMAN. This story was placed in the bible so God could speak to me and many others during this season of suffering in our lives. And my resolve changed. I wanted my FAITH to MAKE ME WHOLE. And the only way I would achieve that is if I spent the rest of my days reaching to Jesus in faith that He would make me whole. And I set out to understand what that actually meant.
But that left me with more questions! How can I reach to Jesus in faith like that, and what made it so Jesus could heal her just by touching His clothes?
And you know what I discovered?! Jesus LOVED her. Yes, that was the secret. Jesus loved her and for that reason just the simple act of touching His clothes was able to heal her. Because He loved her. Just like He loves every one of us. And that LOVE is the power. That LOVE made the difference that none of her physicians could give her.
So if Jesus heals me through His love for me, then am I not able to help heal little pieces of others simply by showing forth love to them?
You see, when we reach to Jesus with our whole hearts through prayer, study of His word, and living in His light, we then are empowered through Jesus to LOVE as He did. And that unlocks a door to healing that few dare to step through. But once you step through that door, you’ll never go back. You won’t want to.
1 Corinthians 13:2
“And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
John 15:9
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.”
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Have you ever had someone come to visit and offer you love when you’re sick? And for a brief moment you forget your pain all together to the point where you barely feel it? That’s the power of love.
If you’re in the middle of your bitter, seek out the love. Seek out the love that rests in the sunsets of today and sunrises of tomorrow. Dance in the love that glitters over the mountaintops, and the love deeply seated in you as you pray on your knees throughout the day. Rejoice in the love offered by friends and family, and when all else fails, seek to love others as Jesus loves us. Plant your feet in a resolve to being a vessel of God’s love to the world, and your purpose and healing will burst out of you like a beam of light breaking through all the cracks and crevices of your hard.
When we do so we heal. That’s the secret.
We can do every treatment protocol, we can take all the vitamins and supplements, we can kill all the lyme bacteria and detox constantly (and we should do our physical protocols, don’t get me wrong here!) But at the end of the day, without love, you’ll find you’re missing something.
You don’t have to miss it for long. Go with God, and heal with love.